Positivity.

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Hey readers!

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Let’s start!

I want to write this post for anyone who needs a bit of motivation.

I know being positive all the time is pretty much impossible. I don’t think anyone can be happy, bright, and super optimistic every single second.

What we can do, is learn how to be more positive. Find ways to add it to your daily routine.

I haven’t been positive all my life. I used to be one of the most negative people I’ve ever come across. I still can be quite negative at times, but I have come to learn that being a “Negative Nancy” will get you nowhere.

A way to change your thinking pattern is to change your thoughts. Stop thinking about what you aren’t good at, stop thinking about how your life would be better if you had this or that. There is always a way to find something good that is happening to you, or that has happened.

Sometimes it feels like there is no way that we can be happy. I get it, I’ve been there. We sometimes don’t even want to see the good in situation. We might be scared that it’s too good to be true. I’ve also been there as well.

Another way to start being more positive is to make a list. Make a list of the pros and cons of a certain situation. If there are too many cons, think of ways to make them pros. If it’s impossible to change the cons into pros, then don’t give up. There will still be pros, so don’t think that you only have a bad situation. You might just see that you have a great situation.

I think overall, changing the way you look at things is all in your hands. If you start to feel like you are too negative, or if people tell you you are, then maybe take a look at why they say that.

No one can tell you how to act. That’s not what I’m here to do. I’m here to share advice.

All my posts come from my personal experiences.

Thank you for reading!

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Email: thekiananicole@yahoo.com

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Self Sabotage.

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Hey readers! This topic is so important to me. Let’s start.

Self-sabotage.

What is it?

The way I would explain it would be, when you do things to stop yourself from being happy on purpose.

I do this. I’ve said in past blog posts, that I used to be very unhappy, very depressed. I used to think I wasn’t allowed to be happy. I don’t think that as much, but I still find myself trying to keep myself from being happy sometimes.

I say things to push people away. I do things that will result in me being alone. I don’t know why I do this. I think it might be because I don’t want to be happy then have something bad happen to change that.

If any of this is relatable to you, you might be doing the same thing.

Here’s some advice.

You might be thinking, how can she give advice on a topic she herself struggles with?

You’re right, I can’t give the most accurate advice. I do think though that people who have been through something can give the best advice on the topic. They’ve been through it. They could possibly help.

So, here’s my advice.

Learn what makes you happy. When you find out what makes you the happiest, you’ll know what it feels like. When it feels good, you won’t want that feeling to stop.

Try to stop yourself when you feel negative actions surfacing. Don’t let yourself ruin something that could be amazing.

If you’re going to say something to push someone away, think about it. Do you really want this person out of your life? If not, don’t push them away.

I know it’s easy to say, not so easy to do.

I would say, learn what you do when you push people away. When you realize what you are doing, it will be easier to evaluate it and stop.

You don’t need to push people out. You do deserve to be happy. Don’t let anyone, not even yourself tell you different.

Thank you for reading!

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Email: thekiananicole@yahoo.com

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Self Care.

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Hey readers! This topic is going to be about self care.

Taking time off for you.

Sometimes we push ourselves too hard. Sometimes we don’t push ourselves enough. It’s all about finding a healthy balance.

Sometimes we need to focus on making ourselves better.

How do we do that?

Well, I would say to get rid of negative energy around you. Negative friendships, romantic relationships, or even your own negative self image.

How do we spot negative friendships or relationships?

Think of it this way, if they don’t make you feel good about yourself, there’s probably a reason. Why would you want to be around people who drag you down? You don’t need that. Try to find people who make you smile, who make you laugh. Those are people you need to surround yourself with.

When you have a negative self image, this can be hard to realize that you’re tearing yourself down. Negative thoughts such as.. “I’m not good enough” can be so demeaning. We don’t realize that we have these thoughts sometimes.

The best way to get rid of these thoughts are to replace them. When you have a negative thought, say the opposite. Get in the habit of changing the way you think, you’ll be a lot happier.

I’ve had such negative views on life in the past. Once I started learning positive self talk, and the people I need to be around, I was/ I am a lot happier.

I know that I’m a good person.

I know that I am a strong person.

Once you know yourself. Once you know that you are worthy, you’ll see a change.

You’ll start to see that the people who bring you down, aren’t right. Usually when a person brings another person down, it’s because they don’t like themselves.

It’s true. Sometimes they will even say something rude to you that they’ve heard someone say to them.

I personally have never understood how someone can bring down another person and feel good.

When you give good, you’ll receive it. It might be a while until you notice, but it’ll happen.

Be a good person.

Why not?

It doesn’t cost you any money, and you never know how you could save someone’s life.

What I mean by that is, If you say something hurtful to someone who has been hurt countless times, that might just be the last straw. If you say something to the same person that gives them hope, you might’ve just saved them.

Who knows?

Words are so powerful.

Use them wisely.

Thank you for reading!

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cupidsrighthandgirly.home.blog

Contact Information:

Email: thekiananicole@yahoo.com

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Letting Go.

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Hey readers! This topic is something I’ve struggled with in the past. Letting go. Of what? Relationships, friendships, and hurtful experiences.

Everyone at some point in their life will have to let go. Now, this is way easier said than done. Letting go of something that has hurt you, can be very difficult.

Past relationships can be the worst. Being with someone for a long time, sharing your most vulnerable parts with them..it can be very hurtful when you have to give that up.

Maybe your lover cheated, or they simply said “this just isn’t working” Whatever the case may be, it can still take a toll on you.

Sometimes we have to learn what we really deserve. Do we deserve to be hurt? Or, do we deserve to be loved and cared for? Sometimes we feel like we don’t deserve love or happiness. We could sabotage ourselves if we feel that way.

I used to think I didn’t deserve to be happy. I would try to push people away on purpose just so they would leave. I didn’t really want them to leave, I just thought that I shouldn’t be happy.

I’ve learned over some years that I do deserve to be happy. I’ve stopped pushing people away. Yes, I still push out the negative from my life, but if you bring positivity to my life..I won’t push you out.

We have to learn how to differentiate the difference between the people that are good to be around, and the people who we shouldn’t let in our circle.

Past friendships.

Past friendships can also be sad if we lose someone we thought that we could trust. Good friends are hard to find sometimes. Not all people have good intentions. Fake friends. Fake friends will be secretly jealous of you or they will try to bring you down.

Fake friends can be hard to spot. If you have a friend that is never there for you when you are having a rough time, but needs you to be there for them..they probably aren’t your real friend.

Be careful who you tell your secrets to. I get it, it can be lonely without a group of friends to hang out with. I would rather be with one friend that I can trust, than to be with a group of people who don’t want what’s best for me.

Hurtful experiences.

Sometimes when we get hurt past the point of it going away in a couple of hours or days..it can me almost traumatic. Something that hurt us, when it last months and years, that definitely isn’t something you should have to keep struggling with.

You should look for ways to cope with what happened. You should do what you feel is best for you. Seeing a therapist, surrounding yourself with people that love you, or having some alone time. Whatever works for you, do it.

No one should have to go through trauma or sadness alone. It can be miserable. I’ve dealt with clinical depression for years now. Sure, I still get very sad sometimes, but other times I’ve learned what works best to help me feel better.

I want all my readers to know, that you are not alone. I’m here for you. There are other people in your life that are there for you. You might not see it, but they are there.

Thank you for reading!

Check out my other posts! https://cupidsrighthandgirly.home.blog

Contact Information:

Email: thekiananicole@yahoo.com

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Advice On Loving Yourself.

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Hey readers! This post is related to my last post, if you haven’t read that one..go check it out!

Although, this post can stand alone. So, let’s start.

Loving yourself.

It can be a battle, but trust me, you don’t have to fight alone.

A lot of people struggle with loving themselves. It can be difficult to accept ourselves for who we are. Sometimes we think we lack certain traits, and that can lead to us thinking we aren’t enough. Well, you are. You are enough.

I think a way to start loving yourself would be to start changing the way you look at things. Instead of looking for the bad traits in yourself, look at the better ones.

“Bad traits”

I don’t think we really have bad traits. I think if we have some traits that we don’t like, we can work on fixing them. If you have a negative attitude most of the time, work on being more positive. Easier said than done, I know.

Here are some ways to change your thinking.

Instead of saying: “I’m ugly”

Say: “I’m me. I have features others don’t. That makes me special”

If you have features you don’t like about yourself, do things to make yourself feel better about them. Exercise, try make up, wear something you usually don’t.

I’m not saying change yourself, but if you don’t like something, take a different look at it.

Instead of saying: “I’m not smart”

Say: “I know some facts others don’t. I want to learn some more.”

Start small. Maybe start reading. Expand your vocabulary.

You don’t have to be the smartest person you know, but there are ways to learn more.

You just have to find what works for you.

Those are just some examples.

Changing the way you see yourself can be so beneficial.

Once you start seeing the good in yourself, seeing what you’re good at, you can be so much happier.

If you feel like there is nothing you can do to accept yourself, don’t give up.

It’s taken me years to learn to love myself.

It might take you some time, but you will get there.

Stay strong reader, you’ve got this!

I’m always here if anyone needs to talk! My contact information will be down below.

Thank you for reading!

Contact Information:

Email: thekiananicole@yahoo.com

Instagram: thekiananicole

Twitter: thekiananicole

My Thoughts On Love.

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Hey readers! This topic is going to be interesting to write about.

My thoughts on love.

My whole life, I’ve loved love. Giving love and receiving love.

I’ve always been a hopeless romantic.

I have wanted a fairytale love story for as long as I can remember. Imagine a ten year old girl thinking up “love stories” silly, right? but yes, that was me.

I used to make up stories where I fall in love with my one true love. We get married and live a happy life together.

I’ve gotten more realistic over the years, but I still do think about my “fairytale”.

I still want to find my true love, who doesn’t?

I want to find a great guy. A guy who loves me for me, treats me well, and shares some of my same interests.

My age is still young, so I have been told I have time. I don’t need a boyfriend right now.

I agree.

To some point.

I think I can be 16 and work on myself and still find someone to share my interests with.

Sometimes though, I think I’ll never find “love” I feel like I will always be by myself romantically.

Sure, I’ve meet guys my age. I’ve talked to guys, but none of them have been nice guys. None of them have wanted me for me. Wanted a relationship. No, they wanted me for their own personal entertainment.

I’ve had some heartbreaks. I almost let some of these guys take away my love for love. I almost stopped believing in the one thing that I’ve always believed is important.

Yes, you can go through life and not have a romantic relationship. If that life is for you, go ahead. I won’t tell you to live your life any different.

I just feel like being with a person who loves you in a romantic way can be a great thing for some people. Sure, you could have family and friends, but they can’t love you in the same way. Like I said, you can be fine with just your family’s love, but I want more.

I want to be loved by someone I love. Being in love to be exact. I think it could be a magical thing. I haven’t found the right guy yet, and I might not for a long time. Until then, I am working on myself.

Some people say you can’t love other people if you don’t love yourself. Well, I disagree.

I think that you can find yourself and be in a relationship. I believe if you are in a healthy relationship, then your partner can help you learn to love yourself. They can be your support. It’s lonely sometimes when you don’t love yourself. If you have someone to love, and they love you back, you could see all the lovable things about yourself.

Therefore, I do believe you can love someone without loving yourself completely.

I’ll keep you guys updated on my thoughts about love, if anything changes.

Thank you for reading!

Contact Information:

Email: thekiananicole@yahoo.com

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Loving Myself.

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Hey readers! In my last post I mentioned that I want this blog to be a safe place. A place to be me. A place to share.

So, I want to share some about me.

I’m Kiana. I’m 16. I love reading and I love writing.

I love those two things because it gives me a chance to escape. I can write whatever I want, and when I read it takes me wherever I want to go. It’s fascinating. Without reading and writing, I wouldn’t be me. It’s a big part of my life.

I’ve been diagnosed with clinical depression. Not recently, it’s been some years. Over these years, writing has saved me in so many ways.

I’ve always loved the way writing makes me feel, but I haven’t always loved myself.

I haven’t loved myself until recently.

I think loving yourself is a big struggle for a lot of people. Even if you don’t admit it, it is a struggle sometimes.

We create images of how our life is supposed to be, how we are supposed to be. When we don’t fit those images, it can be disappointing. It can make us feel like failures. It can make us think that we aren’t enough.

I’ve created images in my head of perfection, what I want to be.

Looking back through the years, I’ve realized that there is no such thing as “perfection”

What does perfect even mean?

Nice looking? Tall with long legs? Model skinny?

I don’t think being perfect exists. I just think us as people judge ourselves, and when we see something we don’t have..it can be considered “perfect” Especially, if there are multiple things we think we don’t have.

I’ve tried for so long to be “perfect” What I think is perfect. Skinny, clear skin, beautiful eyes, and a bright smile. Then, I started to realize, that’s all looks. How I look. What about how I feel? How I act? Aren’t those important too?

When I finally figured out that I want to be a good person and feel good myself, my attitude changed. I started working on ways to feel better about myself, not ways to change myself. I don’t want to be what I used to consider “perfect” because ever since I’ve let that image go, I’ve felt so much better about myself. I started to finally love myself.

It’s been hard. It’s taken me years to get to this place, but all that matters, is that I got to it.

If you are struggling with loving yourself, keep going! You’ll get there too.

Thank you for reading!

Contact Information:

Email: thekiananicole@yahoo.com

Instagram: thekiananicole

Twitter: thekiananicole